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ebyruTitle: Without a soul
Author: moi aka yassu.
Rating: PG-13 for now. angst mostly, still.
Pairing: Sho x ???
Summary: Sho tries to 'live'.
Disclaimer: I don't. Yup. And they don't. And we don't. And you certainly don't. xD
Notes: I love vampires. I love Arashi. It's only natural. They go so well together. <33 Also, I dunno if this will be ongoing or not yet..
Without a soul
To feel is to have a heart. To have a heart is to be alive. To be alive is to live. To live you must be human. I'm anything but. I'm cold and and my heart is non-existant. If you knew a fraction of my so-called life, you wouldn't wonder why I was this unkind, unfeeling.
I look up at the darkness above me, it preys upon me. It asks me to feed it the screams and the terror that was once hidden away only for God to see. The shattered hope of innocent bystanders, as I lay upon them with my intoxicating nature and take from them what I need. Needless to say I wished for more, this wasn't the life I'd wanted.
This wasn't my choice.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Jun awoke. I felt my life changing suddenly, this was what I had needed. Maybe it wasn't my decision to take, but it was done now and there was no turning back. Definitely not now.
Reality hit Jun abruptly and painfully. He felt his skin losing it's warmth, felt himself craving something he never imagined. Sho was misleading and nothing could change that, it was too late. He had transformed into something only found in dreams and illusions. A creature that fed at night.
He looked around, trying to recall the night before. Trying to ignore the burning inside of his chest screaming for blood. It was irritating and frightening. It yelled at him, repetitively and constantly. Blood, blood, blood, blood.
He covered his ears, slumping into himself, in pain. Sho looked at Jun and away within a second. He knew that feeling all too well, he had experienced it 5 years sooner.
The day he lost his will to live. But his life was no longer his own.
Sho walked over to Jun's side of the bed, placing a hand on each shoulder. Shaking him back to reality, Sho spoke. After watching Jun fight against himself for nearly 20 minutes.
"Jun. It'll be okay. You'll just have to give in."
Jun looked up, tears building in the deep crevasses of his eyes. He fought them, he never cried. Never. In a fit of rage, he screamed at the top of his lungs. The only words that would come out properly while crying.
"STOP. MAKE IT STOP. LEAVE ME ALONE."
The droplets strolled along his jaw, hitting the white sheets underneath his body. His legs still tucked away under him, he pulled at his hair, trying to distract his mind. Screaming in pain, Jun was losing his mind. Sho could take no more of this self-mutilation.
He tilted his head back, his eyes closing. Slowly, he bit into his wrist, there was a vein there that never failed. The liquid - as bright as the sunsets never to be seen again by these two men - spilled out of him almost like water.
Jun began to calm down, his body feeling sweet relief nearby. Sho placed his arm above Jun's head, allowing it to fall onto his face, near his mouth. Jun despised the taste but his body quivered with each new drop, asking for more.
Neither of the two moved, for an hour roughly. Sho felt himself getting weak, his eyes fluttering into unconsciousness. He tempted his fate, he wanted to leave this place, he didn't stop. He wouldn't stop.
Jun noticed the pale look upon Sho's face, the blank look within his gaze. He knew he had to stop, or stop Sho. He pushed Sho's arm away aggressively, grabbing at his wrist that was now slit from one end to the other. He sat there helplessly as he watched Sho fall to the ground.
"Sho! Are you alright?"
He was being sincere. This may have been a deceiving, lying, secretive being but Jun loved him, somehow. In so little time. He worried the only one who could explain these new sensations to him was passing, at his feet.
Sho panted, trying to regain his strength, for Jun's sake. He had allowed too much to fall out, he had been selfish once more. Once again with the only person that made him feel alive.
This heart of his, hollow and black, seemed to be turning red. Jun, voice as sweet as doves on a Sunday morning, face as soft as rose petals during spring, cared so much for him. Sho didn't want to give up anymore. There was no more giving in.
He shook his head, sitting up slowly, all the while Jun held his wrist, keeping the blood from spilling out more. His thumb covering the inch of open wound, air hardly slipping past the tight grip.
The pain hit Sho, his wound was being squeezed so hard it burned. It burned him from his head to his legs. It burned like a fire within, caused by acid of the worst kind. He whimpered. Jun released him.
Sho's eyes slipped into darkness, his lids covering them, the pain fading. Jun got down on his knees, hovering over Sho, holding his head still. He stayed there, waiting. For anything really, a sign of hope. A sign of life, a sign of anything positive.
He waited. Just holding him, lovingly, worriedly. The man who had stolen his humanity, stolen his body. The man that gave him immortality, gave him the neverending darkness. The man that lit up his existence, just by smiling. Jun whispered to himself.
"Wake up, I need you. I can't do this alone."
Something triggered within Sho, his body twitched. An inch, but it was something, and it was absolutely better than nothing.
Jun picked up Sho's hand, looking at the wrist where the wound was. It was now entirely closed up, healed to perfection. Sho inhaled loudly, his body waking up from the trauma it had experienced.
He opened his eyes, still dizzy from the earlier event. His lips pronounced Jun's name but not a sound was heard. Jun knew though and that's what mattered most. He leaned in, gently holding onto Sho's shoulders and neck.
He sat, on Sho's lap, stroking the back of his head. The soft whispers of Jun's relieved mind filled Sho's ears. He tingled, the love surrounding them - like a spring breeze blowing over a peaceful pond - a smile forming upon his mouth.
Jun's tears covered Sho's shoulder, he had never felt so confused and sorrowful in his life. It was finally over.
~~~~~~~~~~
They never left each other. Never looked at others.
Jun wanted only Sho. Sho wanted but Jun. No one could make them feel the same rush as when they kissed and the world spun around them endlessly. No one caressed their skin like gentle splatters of the beginning to a spring shower.
They both thought the same way.
He is for I and I am for him alone. There is no one else.
And as their love grew, the years passed.
From years, to decades, to centuries. They never let go. They would not.
~END~
Later.
Author: moi aka yassu.
Rating: PG-13 for now. angst mostly, still.
Pairing: Sho x ???
Summary: Sho tries to 'live'.
Disclaimer: I don't. Yup. And they don't. And we don't. And you certainly don't. xD
Notes: I love vampires. I love Arashi. It's only natural. They go so well together. <33 Also, I dunno if this will be ongoing or not yet..
Without a soul
To feel is to have a heart. To have a heart is to be alive. To be alive is to live. To live you must be human. I'm anything but. I'm cold and and my heart is non-existant. If you knew a fraction of my so-called life, you wouldn't wonder why I was this unkind, unfeeling.
I look up at the darkness above me, it preys upon me. It asks me to feed it the screams and the terror that was once hidden away only for God to see. The shattered hope of innocent bystanders, as I lay upon them with my intoxicating nature and take from them what I need. Needless to say I wished for more, this wasn't the life I'd wanted.
This wasn't my choice.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Jun awoke. I felt my life changing suddenly, this was what I had needed. Maybe it wasn't my decision to take, but it was done now and there was no turning back. Definitely not now.
Reality hit Jun abruptly and painfully. He felt his skin losing it's warmth, felt himself craving something he never imagined. Sho was misleading and nothing could change that, it was too late. He had transformed into something only found in dreams and illusions. A creature that fed at night.
He looked around, trying to recall the night before. Trying to ignore the burning inside of his chest screaming for blood. It was irritating and frightening. It yelled at him, repetitively and constantly. Blood, blood, blood, blood.
He covered his ears, slumping into himself, in pain. Sho looked at Jun and away within a second. He knew that feeling all too well, he had experienced it 5 years sooner.
The day he lost his will to live. But his life was no longer his own.
Sho walked over to Jun's side of the bed, placing a hand on each shoulder. Shaking him back to reality, Sho spoke. After watching Jun fight against himself for nearly 20 minutes.
"Jun. It'll be okay. You'll just have to give in."
Jun looked up, tears building in the deep crevasses of his eyes. He fought them, he never cried. Never. In a fit of rage, he screamed at the top of his lungs. The only words that would come out properly while crying.
"STOP. MAKE IT STOP. LEAVE ME ALONE."
The droplets strolled along his jaw, hitting the white sheets underneath his body. His legs still tucked away under him, he pulled at his hair, trying to distract his mind. Screaming in pain, Jun was losing his mind. Sho could take no more of this self-mutilation.
He tilted his head back, his eyes closing. Slowly, he bit into his wrist, there was a vein there that never failed. The liquid - as bright as the sunsets never to be seen again by these two men - spilled out of him almost like water.
Jun began to calm down, his body feeling sweet relief nearby. Sho placed his arm above Jun's head, allowing it to fall onto his face, near his mouth. Jun despised the taste but his body quivered with each new drop, asking for more.
Neither of the two moved, for an hour roughly. Sho felt himself getting weak, his eyes fluttering into unconsciousness. He tempted his fate, he wanted to leave this place, he didn't stop. He wouldn't stop.
Jun noticed the pale look upon Sho's face, the blank look within his gaze. He knew he had to stop, or stop Sho. He pushed Sho's arm away aggressively, grabbing at his wrist that was now slit from one end to the other. He sat there helplessly as he watched Sho fall to the ground.
"Sho! Are you alright?"
He was being sincere. This may have been a deceiving, lying, secretive being but Jun loved him, somehow. In so little time. He worried the only one who could explain these new sensations to him was passing, at his feet.
Sho panted, trying to regain his strength, for Jun's sake. He had allowed too much to fall out, he had been selfish once more. Once again with the only person that made him feel alive.
This heart of his, hollow and black, seemed to be turning red. Jun, voice as sweet as doves on a Sunday morning, face as soft as rose petals during spring, cared so much for him. Sho didn't want to give up anymore. There was no more giving in.
He shook his head, sitting up slowly, all the while Jun held his wrist, keeping the blood from spilling out more. His thumb covering the inch of open wound, air hardly slipping past the tight grip.
The pain hit Sho, his wound was being squeezed so hard it burned. It burned him from his head to his legs. It burned like a fire within, caused by acid of the worst kind. He whimpered. Jun released him.
Sho's eyes slipped into darkness, his lids covering them, the pain fading. Jun got down on his knees, hovering over Sho, holding his head still. He stayed there, waiting. For anything really, a sign of hope. A sign of life, a sign of anything positive.
He waited. Just holding him, lovingly, worriedly. The man who had stolen his humanity, stolen his body. The man that gave him immortality, gave him the neverending darkness. The man that lit up his existence, just by smiling. Jun whispered to himself.
"Wake up, I need you. I can't do this alone."
Something triggered within Sho, his body twitched. An inch, but it was something, and it was absolutely better than nothing.
Jun picked up Sho's hand, looking at the wrist where the wound was. It was now entirely closed up, healed to perfection. Sho inhaled loudly, his body waking up from the trauma it had experienced.
He opened his eyes, still dizzy from the earlier event. His lips pronounced Jun's name but not a sound was heard. Jun knew though and that's what mattered most. He leaned in, gently holding onto Sho's shoulders and neck.
He sat, on Sho's lap, stroking the back of his head. The soft whispers of Jun's relieved mind filled Sho's ears. He tingled, the love surrounding them - like a spring breeze blowing over a peaceful pond - a smile forming upon his mouth.
Jun's tears covered Sho's shoulder, he had never felt so confused and sorrowful in his life. It was finally over.
~~~~~~~~~~
They never left each other. Never looked at others.
Jun wanted only Sho. Sho wanted but Jun. No one could make them feel the same rush as when they kissed and the world spun around them endlessly. No one caressed their skin like gentle splatters of the beginning to a spring shower.
They both thought the same way.
He is for I and I am for him alone. There is no one else.
And as their love grew, the years passed.
From years, to decades, to centuries. They never let go. They would not.
~END~
Later.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 06:31 am (UTC)lolz. [squishes] if you're happy. im happy. ♥
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 06:37 am (UTC)Aww...*sniff* ^_^ ♥
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 04:26 pm (UTC)kawa~ii xD <33
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 10:42 am (UTC)i love the way you express their feelings, and i would do anything to have a fanart of this... ♥~~~
*hugs* LOV YOU XD ♥ (well i love jun more but your fic make me feel ♥ =)
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 04:25 pm (UTC)and I wasn't planning on him dying, this was someone sho liked. I just wanted to scare people. keke.
lolz. x.o that kinda doesn't feel the same anymore. hahaha. [once you said -i love jun more-] it kind of takes away. hahaha.
but glad you enjoyed! ♥
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 04:34 pm (UTC)sou desu ne... and you were right XD i was really really
angryscared about jun's probably dead... XDDbut i really ♥lov♥ you you know? XD i'm gonna be fan of you!! be careful!! LMAO but jun's really a bitch, always keeping more love of me than the others persons i like.. SO GREEDY!! XDDDDD
sorry for my bad english... i've got some unforgivable mistakes but i don't know how to avoid it -_-"
btw i'm always stealing you your ♥ coz i don'tknow how to type it without copy past yours -_- don't have this sign on my keyboard XDDD gomen ^^" m(_ _)m
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 04:59 pm (UTC)I'm one of the rare fans that has love for all of them almost equally. keke. no favorite. ^-^v
haha. I have to be careful!?! @_@;; [hides] lmao.
ah...a heart is easy to write & hearts ; <---but put it all stuck together. kekeke.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 05:04 pm (UTC)but i love them all, just jun is greedy as always XDD
THANX ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
my lovely-crazy-commenting has begun... XDD
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 05:20 pm (UTC)lolz. uh huh. xD
basically, you have no self control. LOL.xDD and oh no? should I be worried? lolz.
no subject
Date: 2007-02-23 07:31 pm (UTC)it would be so great if it was true huhu
and irl i've got a strong self control w/ the one i don't know... but speaking of fandom... WHO GOT REAL SELF CONTROL?? no kiddin'! XD
and i like &hearts: it's all! help me to bear with hearty-lovy-sweety-atarashi-arashi... -_-
strong-jidai-pikanchi-all or nothing-menly-kakkoi-arashi isn't joinable for the moment, please call later...biip biipTAKU~~~~no subject
Date: 2007-02-24 06:30 am (UTC)I have no idea what to think of this comment. xDDD
[dead]
YOSH~
no subject
Date: 2007-02-24 09:46 am (UTC)wait... THAT could be a good idea XDDDD~~~~
seriously there's nothing to think about my crazy comments... unless you're as crazy and want to come in the talk w/ me XD
no subject
Date: 2007-02-24 04:18 pm (UTC)meh, those aren't big problems. besides, nino is my twin...if he half as lazy as i am, he won't pursue you..xDDDDD
lolz. <3
no subject
Date: 2007-02-24 06:26 am (UTC)It's twisted fluff. XD alksdjchakljsdfhe...
You should make the others vampires too XD
no subject
Date: 2007-02-24 06:28 am (UTC)im used to the 'OMG' by now. xD it's a constant.
twisted fluff..LMAO. I like that. xD
xD